Up in the Air

First off really want to see this movie hear it was fantastic, so I mean no disrespect to Dr. Ross (yes for those who are curious it is sad that I knew that without looking it up).

In my travels I go many places (and a lot of the same places) as evidenced by my Views from a Hotel Room posts, and I cross paths with many people: cab drivers, ticket agents, TSA workers, flight attendants, hotel workers, single serving friends (ah-thank ya Fight Club), and really just people in general.  There is however a cross-section of people I meet up with that I can't stand and you can see them a mile away I dub them the Travel Jackass.  Now the Travel Jackass can most commonly be found wearing a suit, power tie and most often has a blue tooth device because he didn't get the memo that presently the only people using blue tooth headsets are twelve year old boys (and 28 year old men) while fragging noobs online.  His behavior is often such where you'd assume he was a man of distiction... like the President or Will Ferrell.  This man will not hesitate to hit you with his wool coat, run into with is computer bag, cut you off in line and the worst offense of all, take your arm rest.  He will generally make your life terrible because of one simple truth: In his mind where he is going and what he is doing is far more important than anywhere you are going or anything you could possibly be doing.

This man must be met with strategic force.  You must not show fear or mercy, for fear is what he uses to dominate.  The armrest.  The Little Big Horn of the travel world.  It is key that you not lose this position for if you do suffice it to say all is lost and the Travel Jackass has won.  You must remain steadfast in your resolve and whatever you do DO NOT yield nary an inch.  My most common method is to hold my ground.  He will, in and effort to assert dominance, butt his arm next to yours.  HOLD.  Wait 5-10 min. HOLD. Then, ever so slightly apply pressure to his arm, increasing it once every 5-10 min.  If nothing else it is fun to watch him squirm uncomfortably as he trys to figure out want to do next.  Most often I can dislodge his arm from the arm rest and claim victory, but everyonce in awhile a fella is particularly stubborn, I'd say my KDR is 0.50.

Essentially, these people need to be given only minimal latitude because it only fuels their ego and their unjustified feeling of self-importance.  I have on more than one occasion battled for arm space, and uttered a louder than really necessary "EXCUSE ME" to the man who insists on standing with his shins touching the baggage carosel dispite the fact that his suitcase is not in view. 

Where I have to go is just as important and what I have to do is just as important.

The ULTIMATE victory however is left to forces beyond my contol... and I smile inside everytime I see one of them sitting next to a baby...